…..is where the heart is.

So….I guess you came here to find out who THE LORD is, and why everybody seems to be talking about the “best potential album of the year” (Vaogue magazine) ‘Jesuit Trifle Syndrome’.

Well, the answers you are looking for are held in the pages of this “stunningly beautiful and ethically ethereal” (Vaogue magazine) website.

After winning the “best musical composition that side of Accrington” Award (Oswaldtwistle primary School) in 1986; I started to think about the complex nature of computer music, improvisation and ways of interacting with manipulated audio samples to create meaningful and beautiful compositions.

After studying for and gaining my cycling proficiency badge in the early summer of 1986, I had the time to dedicate my full attention to music. I realised I needed a computer powerful enough to process and manipulate audio samples, but all I had was a very high powered V720 scientific calculator.

The economy was in a bad state, so asking my parents for £12,000 to create a new super computer was a daunting idea. Then….I had a great idea. I decided to wait 23 years until technology and processing power had got to the standard I found acceptable for my needs. I realised that if I saved up all my money for the next 23 years then I should be able to afford a machine and fulfil my dreams of creating an album. Every year, the money I earned from working the ‘bob-a-job’ week work, I put into a high-interest savings account. Finally in 2009, I had £342.21. I went to the local computer shop, bought myself the best that was there, all the software I needed and a bottle of fine wine, got to work and created the seminal album:

Gettin’ off the meths.

The album was an instant success and was played on at least 2 local c.d. players. As with all  great albums, it was soon picked up by a label (exoticpylonrecords).  I was hounded by the public to create another album as well crafted and mellifluous as the first.

Within days I had started to get to grips with the new album. It was 12th July 2010 and I’d planned to finish the album that week. However, at the same time, I was asked by the Secretary General of The UN to intervene in an issue between them and NATO that was almost certain to turn into the biggest war since the invasion of the WHO on Greenpeace. I was the only one who could help…In his words “you are the only one that can help” (him).

It was a dilemma, but I decided to help the UN. I had to put my musical aspirations to one side and help the world. I had made up my mind.

In February 2011 I had finished my other work (saving the world) and could finally get on with the new album. I had finished it by the end of February 2011. I needed now to create a cover. My wife (Alice) saved the day by producing the wonderful artwork on the album. Finally, we hit on the idea of take-away bags for the album…a metaphor for the throw away life style that we all lead. This idea won the “best non-metaphor that is believed by it’s creator to be a metaphor, when actually it’s just a representation and probably means nothing, but the artist who thought of it has to put it out there as having meaning or else it would just be what it is…..and who would appreciate that” award, and quoted as being “O.K.” (Vaogue magazine).

Jesuit Trifle Syndrome was born, released and loved on 21st Nov 2011.

Who knows what will come next………keep your eyes on this site to find out.